But the phrases right before that are essentially,
look to others ahead of yourself,
consider others more important,
60
하지만 바로 그 직전의 구절은 본질적으로
자신보다 다른 사람을 먼저 바라보라고 합니다
다른 사람을 더 중요하게 여기라고 합니다
61
look at other people.
And so the more that you can lead
by example in that,
62
다른 사람을 바라보세요.
그리고 여러분이 더 많이 가르칠 수 있습니다
그 안에서 모범을 보일 때
63
the more that you can be thinking about other people
and talking about,
"You know, I think so-and-so might be feeling such and such.
64
다른 사람들에 대해 더 많이 생각할 수 있고
더 많이 이야기할 수 있습니다.
"아시죠, 저는 이 사람이 여러 감정을 느낄 수도 있다고 생각해요.
65
I think they might be hoping for...
this might be hard for them...
I think this would probably really be meaningful to them..."
66
그들이 바랄 수도 있을 것 같아요...
이게 그들에게는 어려울 수도 있어요...
이게 그들에게 정말 의미가 있을 것 같아요..."
67
Those kinds of comments—
and if you find yourself struggling like, well,
I never think about anybody that way,
68
그런 종류의 코멘트가 있고,
만약 그런 것이 힘들고
그런 식으로 아무도 생각해 본 적이 없다면
69
then that takes us to the most helpful thing you can do,
which is begin yourself to pursue a perspective of knowing
how is it for someone else?
70
그렇다면 여러분이 할 수 있는 가장 도움이 되는 일은
다른 사람에게는 어떤지 아는 관점을 추구하기 시작하는 것입니다.
그것이 누군가 다른 사람들에게는 어떨까?
71
How are they?
What are they thinking, feeling, looking for, hoping, doing,
what is on their heart?
72
그들은 괜찮을까?
그들은 무엇을 생각하고, 느끼고, 찾고, 바라고, 하고 있을까?
그들의 마음속에는 무엇이 있을까?
73
So lead by example,
lead by example in reflecting on others,
74
그러니 모범을 보이고,
다른 사람들을 돌아보며 모범을 보이고
75
and then ask your kids
how others might be feeling.
So if the first aspects are sort of you driven,
76
그런 다음 자녀들에게 물어보세요
다른 사람들이 어떻게 느낄지.
따라서 첫 번째 측면이 일종의 당신 주도라면,
77
where you are the one putting the information
on the table
and putting data out there
78
당신이 정보를 제시하는 유일한 사람으로
테이블에
대화를 주도하면서
79
in the conversation,
there's also a place to invite your child to reflect.
"How do you think so-and-so felt?"
80
대화를 할 때
자녀가 스스로 성찰하게 하는 방법도 있습니다.
"누구누구가 어떻게 느꼈을 것 같아?"
81
I remember that was the breakthrough moment for me.
I was six years old.
82
저는 그것이 저에게 돌파구가 된 순간이었다는 것을 기억합니다.
저는 여섯 살이었습니다.
83
I was playing wiffleball in the backyard
with my friend.
We came in and I was just,
84
저는 뒷마당에서 위플볼을 하고 있었습니다.
친구와
우리는 들어갔고 저는 그냥,
85
I was kind of a jerk about it:
"Well, I'm feeling pretty happy
because my team won"
86
그것에 대해 약간 멍청했습니다.
"음, 나는 꽤 기쁘네"
내가 이겼기 때문에
87
and blah, blah, blah, right there
in front of my friend.
And I remember my mom just in that moment saying,
88
그리고 어쩌고 저쩌고 말했어요 바로 그 자리에서
제 친구 앞에서.
그리고 저는 그 순간에 제 엄마의 말을 기억합니다.
89
"How do you think your friend felt
when you said that?"
And it was jarring.
90
친구가 어떻게 느꼈을 것 같아?" 라고 말했던 것을
"그 말을 했을 때
그리고 그것은 충격적이었습니다.
91
I wasn't thinking at all
about how my friend was feeling
at that moment,
92
저는 전혀 생각하지 않았고,
제 친구가 어떻게 느꼈는지에 대해
그 순간
93
and the idea that my friend was feeling something about it,
and I was pretty quick at the intuition level to go,
oh, I don't think he would probably like that.
94
제 친구가 그것에 대해 무언가를 느꼈다는 생각을
그리고 저는 직감적으로 꽤 빨리
아, 아마 그는 그것을 좋아하지 않을 것 같아요
95
I don't think I would like that.
And I was convicted in the moment.
All that to say,
96
저도 그것을 좋아하지 않을 것 같아요
그리고 저는 그 순간에 확신했습니다.
말하자면,
97
there is such a rich opportunity
just to help a child begin
to put themself in someone else's shoes.
98
정말 풍부한 기회가 있습니다.
생각하도록 돕는 것에
아이가 다른 사람의 입장에 자신을 놓고
99
That's part of putting someone else first.
It's the first part of putting someone else first.
100
그것은 다른 사람을 먼저 생각하는 것의 일부입니다.
다른 사람을 먼저 생각하는 것의 첫 번째 부분입니다.
101
Last thing I'll say.
Ask and come back to on a regular basis
how Jesus feels about your child.
102
마지막으로 말씀드리겠습니다.
정기적으로 물어보고 돌아오십시오.
예수께서 당신의 자녀에 대해 어떻게 생각하시는지
103
The more that you can bring that into conversation,
How does Jesus,
how does the ultimate other feel about you?
104
대화에 그것을 더 많이 가져올수록,
예수님이 생각하는 것에 대해 잘 생각하게 됩니다.
궁극적으로 다른 사람은 당신에 대해 어떻게 생각하십니까?
105
What's going on
in his mind and his heart?
There's nothing like seeing the grace,
106
무슨 일이 일어나고 있습니까?
그의 마음과 마음속에서
은헤에 대해 알게 되는 좋은 것은 없습니다.
107
the heart of love, of compassion, of joy, of grief over sin
because he loves you
and does not want to see you in sin.
108
사랑의 마음, 연민, 기쁨, 죄에 대한 슬픔의 마음을 보는 것만큼
그분은 당신을 사랑하시고
당신이 죄에 있는 것을 보고 싶어하지 않으시기 때문입니다.
109
That those things are there
in his heart toward your child.
Those are the things I would most want a child
110
그것들이 있습니다.
당신의 자녀를 향한 그의 마음 속에.
그것들은 제가 아이에게 가장 바라는 것들입니다.
111
to be seeing through a different set of eyes.
And the more you think,
How would Jesus feel?
112
다른 시각으로 보기를
그리고 당신이 더 많이 생각할수록,
예수님은 어떻게 느끼실까요?
113
the more you're going to be set up
to think about how other human beings feel around you,
and to have a Christlike perspective on and toward them.
114
당신은 더 많이 준비될 것입니다
당신 주변의 다른 사람들이 어떻게 느끼는지 생각하는 일에
그들을 향해 그리스도와 같은 관점을 갖게 되는 것에.
How can I encourage my child to care more about others?
I am going to give four thoughts on this. It's one I've thought a fair amount about, as a father of three children. It's something I've thought about as the son of parents, but especially of a mother who helped me do this in really significant ways, and I think my mom's input in my life is part of why I'm a counselor today. How do you help kids care more about others? First thought, and probably the most important in terms of the action step regularly, is lead by example. Share what's going on in your mind, in your life, in your heart. How are you being impacted by what's going on around you? So just giving your child a regular window into "Hey, people have feelings and they have responses and they have reactions." So just like, "Such and such happened and that made me sad," or "I was really happy that..." So just giving children access to your inner world in whatever language. You don't have to get all weird and adopt some new hyper-emotional language if that's not who you are. And you're welcome to keep using lots of emotional language if that is who you are. I just mean talk to your kids about how you're experiencing your life and your world, and in particular, if there are places where you see them not thinking about others or not thinking about you, giving them access to that, not a manipulative way where you're like, well, how do you think I felt? Blah, blah, blah. There's a way to invite children to realize, you know what? Other people are going to have different feelings than they do. Other people have different desires, different perspectives, different concerns. So lead by example, sharing your own heart, sharing your own experience of life.
Number two, you lead by example in reflecting on others. Philippians 2, a fairly well-known passage, talks about how Jesus does this incredible, unbelievable humility with us, and he doesn't consider all the glories of heaven and being God with all the privilege of that. He comes down, he takes the nature of a servant. He's made in human likeness. He dies on a cross, and that's to his glory. But the phrases right before that are essentially, look to others ahead of yourself, consider others more important, look at other people. And so the more that you can lead by example in that, the more that you can be thinking about other people and talking about, "You know, I think so-and-so might be feeling such and such. I think they might be hoping for... this might be hard for them... I think this would probably really be meaningful to them..." Those kinds of comments—and if you find yourself struggling like, well, I never think about anybody that way, then that takes us to the most helpful thing you can do, which is begin yourself to pursue a perspective of knowing how is it for someone else? How are they? What are they thinking, feeling, looking for, hoping, doing, what is on their heart?
So lead by example, lead by example in reflecting on others, and then ask your kids how others might be feeling. So if the first aspects are sort of you driven, where you are the one putting the information on the table and putting data out there in the conversation, there's also a place to invite your child to reflect. "How do you think so-and-so felt?" I remember that was the breakthrough moment for me. I was six years old. I was playing wiffleball in the backyard with my friend. We came in and I was just, I was kind of a jerk about it: "Well, I'm feeling pretty happy because my team won" and blah, blah, blah, right there in front of my friend. And I remember my mom just in that moment saying, "How do you think your friend felt when you said that?" And it was jarring. I wasn't thinking at all about how my friend was feeling at that moment, and the idea that my friend was feeling something about it, and I was pretty quick at the intuition level to go, oh, I don't think he would probably like that. I don't think I would like that. And I was convicted in the moment. All that to say, there is such a rich opportunity just to help a child begin to put themself in someone else's shoes. That's part of putting someone else first. It's the first part of putting someone else first.
Last thing I'll say. Ask and come back to on a regular basis how Jesus feels about your child. The more that you can bring that into conversation, How does Jesus, how does the ultimate other feel about you? What's going on in his mind and his heart? There's nothing like seeing the grace, the heart of love, of compassion, of joy, of grief over sin because he loves you and does not want to see you in sin. That those things are there in his heart toward your child. Those are the things I would most want a child to be seeing through a different set of eyes. And the more you think, How would Jesus feel? the more you're going to be set up to think about how other human beings feel around you, and to have a Christlike perspective on and toward them.
*학습방법*
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