How can I encourage my child to care more about others? I am going to give four thoughts on this. It's one I've thought a fair amount about, as a father of three children. It's something I've thought about as the son of parents, but especially of a mother who helped me do this in really significant ways, and I think my mom's input in my life is part of why I'm a counselor today. How do you help kids care more about others? First thought, and probably the most important in terms of the action step regularly, is lead by example. Share what's going on in your mind, in your life, in your heart. How are you being impacted by what's going on around you? So just giving your child a regular window into "Hey, people have feelings and they have responses and they have reactions." So just like, "Such and such happened and that made me sad," or "I was really happy that..." So just giving children access to your inner world in whatever language. You don't have to get all weird and adopt some new hyper-emotional language if that's not who you are. And you're welcome to keep using lots of emotional language if that is who you are. I just mean talk to your kids about how you're experiencing your life and your world, and in particular, if there are places where you see them not thinking about others or not thinking about you, giving them access to that, not a manipulative way where you're like, well, how do you think I felt? Blah, blah, blah. There's a way to invite children to realize, you know what? Other people are going to have different feelings than they do. Other people have different desires, different perspectives, different concerns. So lead by example, sharing your own heart, sharing your own experience of life. Number two, you lead by example in reflecting on others. Philippians 2, a fairly well-known passage, talks about how Jesus does this incredible, unbelievable humility with us, and he doesn't consider all the glories of heaven and being God with all the privilege of that. He comes down, he takes the nature of a servant. He's made in human likeness. He dies on a cross, and that's to his glory. But the phrases right before that are essentially, look to others ahead of yourself, consider others more important, look at other people. And so the more that you can lead by example in that, the more that you can be thinking about other people and talking about, "You know, I think so-and-so might be feeling such and such. I think they might be hoping for... this might be hard for them... I think this would probably really be meaningful to them..." Those kinds of comments— and if you find yourself struggling like, well, I never think about anybody that way, then that takes us to the most helpful thing you can do, which is begin yourself to pursue a perspective of knowing how is it for someone else? How are they? What are they thinking, feeling, looking for, hoping, doing, what is on their heart? So lead by example, lead by example in reflecting on others, and then ask your kids how others might be feeling. So if the first aspects are sort of you driven, where you are the one putting the information on the table and putting data out there in the conversation, there's also a place to invite your child to reflect. "How do you think so-and-so felt?" I remember that was the breakthrough moment for me. I was six years old. I was playing wiffleball in the backyard with my friend. We came in and I was just, I was kind of a jerk about it: "Well, I'm feeling pretty happy because my team won" and blah, blah, blah, right there in front of my friend. And I remember my mom just in that moment saying, "How do you think your friend felt when you said that?" And it was jarring. I wasn't thinking at all about how my friend was feeling at that moment, and the idea that my friend was feeling something about it, and I was pretty quick at the intuition level to go, oh, I don't think he would probably like that. I don't think I would like that. And I was convicted in the moment. All that to say, there is such a rich opportunity just to help a child begin to put themself in someone else's shoes. That's part of putting someone else first. It's the first part of putting someone else first. Last thing I'll say. Ask and come back to on a regular basis how Jesus feels about your child. The more that you can bring that into conversation, How does Jesus, how does the ultimate other feel about you? What's going on in his mind and his heart? There's nothing like seeing the grace, the heart of love, of compassion, of joy, of grief over sin because he loves you and does not want to see you in sin. That those things are there in his heart toward your child. Those are the things I would most want a child to be seeing through a different set of eyes. And the more you think, How would Jesus feel? the more you're going to be set up to think about how other human beings feel around you, and to have a Christlike perspective on and toward them.

자녀가 다른 사람을 더 많이 돌보도록 격려하려면 어떻게 해야 할까요? 이것에 대해 네 가지 생각을 말씀드리겠습니다. 세 자녀의 아버지로서 상당히 생각해 본 문제 중 하나입니다. 부모의 아들로서, 특히 어머니로서 정말 중요한 방식으로 이렇게 하도록 도와 주신 분의 아들로서 생각해 본 문제입니다. 그리고 제 생각에 어머니가 제 삶에 참여해 주신 덕분에 오늘날 제가 상담사가 된 것입니다. 자녀가 다른 사람을 더 많이 돌보도록 돕는 방법은 무엇일까요? 첫 번째 생각은 아마도 가장 중요한 행동 단계의 측면에서 본보기를 보이는 것입니다. 마음에서, 삶에서, 마음속에서 일어나는 일을 공유하세요. 주변에서 일어나는 일이 당신에게 어떤 영향을 미치고 있습니까? 자녀에게 "이봐, 사람들은 감정이 있고 반응이 있고 반응이 있어."라는 정기적인 창을 주는 것뿐입니다. "이런 일이 일어났고 그게 나를 슬프게 했어" 또는 "정말 기뻤어..." 그냥 자녀에게 당신의 내면 세계에 접근할 수 있는 기회를 주는 것입니다. 어떤 언어로든. 당신이 이상해지거나 새로운 과도하게 감정적인 언어를 채택할 필요는 없습니다. 그게 당신이 아니라면요. 그리고 당신이 그런 사람이라면 많은 감정적 언어를 계속 사용해도 좋습니다. 그저 자녀에게 당신이 당신의 삶과 세상을 어떻게 경험하고 있는지에 대해 이야기하고, 특히 자녀가 다른 사람에 대해 생각하지 않거나 당신에 대해 생각하지 않는 곳이 있다면 그곳에 접근할 수 있도록 하세요. 음,내가 어떻게 느꼈을 것 같아? 뭐, 뭐, 뭐, 뭐. 아이들이 깨닫도록 하는 방법이 있습니다. 아시죠? 다른 사람들은 자신들과 다른 감정을 가질 것입니다. 다른 사람들은 다른 욕망, 다른 관점, 다른 관심사를 가지고 있습니다. 따라서 모범을 보이고, 자신의 마음을 공유하고, 자신의 삶의 경험을 공유하세요. 두 번째, 다른 사람을 돌아보면서 모범을 보여주세요. 빌립보서 2장은 꽤 잘 알려진 구절로, 예수께서 우리에게 이 놀라운, 믿을 수 없는 겸손을 베푸신 방법에 대해 이야기합니다. 그리고 그는 하늘의 모든 영광과 하나님이 되심에 대한 모든 특권을 고려하지 않으셨습니다. 그는 내려오셔서 종의 본성을 취하셨습니다. 그는 사람과 같이 되셨습니다. 그는 십자가에서 죽으셨고, 그것은 그의 영광을 위한 것입니다. 하지만 바로 그 직전의 구절은 본질적으로 자신보다 다른 사람을 먼저 바라보세요, 다른 사람을 더 중요하게 여기세요, 다른 사람을 바라보세요. 그리고 여러분이 그 안에서 모범을 보일수록 다른 사람들에 대해 생각하고 이야기할 수 있습니다. "아시죠, 저는 이 사람이 이런저런 감정을 느낄 수도 있다고 생각해요. 그들이 바랄 수도 있을 것 같아요... 이게 그들에게는 어려울 수도 있어요... 이게 그들에게 정말 의미가 있을 것 같아요..." 그런 종류의 코멘트가 있고, 글쎄요, 저는 그런 식으로 아무도 생각하지 않아요, 그렇다면 여러분이 할 수 있는 가장 도움이 되는 일은 다른 사람에게는 어떤지 아는 관점을 추구하기 시작하는 것입니다. 그들은 어때요? 그들은 무엇을 생각하고, 느끼고, 찾고, 바라고, 하고 있을까요? 그들의 마음속에는 무엇이 있을까요? 그러니 모범을 보이고, 다른 사람들을 돌아보며 모범을 보이고 그런 다음 자녀들에게 다른 사람들이 어떻게 느낄지 물어보세요. 따라서 첫 번째 측면이 일종의 당신 주도라면, 당신이 정보를 테이블에 올려놓고 대화에서 데이터를 내놓는 경우, 자녀가 성찰할 수 있는 장소도 있습니다. "누구누구가 어떻게 느꼈을 것 같아?" 저는 그것이 저에게 돌파구가 된 순간이었다는 것을 기억합니다. 저는 여섯 살이었습니다. 저는 뒷마당에서 친구와 위플볼을 하고 있었습니다. 우리는 들어갔고 저는 그냥, 그것에 대해 약간 멍청했습니다. "음, 저는 제 팀이 이겼기 때문에 꽤 기쁘네요" 그리고 blah, blah, blah, 바로 그 자리에서 제 친구 앞에서. 그리고 저는 그 순간에 제 엄마가 "그 말을 했을 때 친구가 어떻게 느꼈을 것 같아?" 라고 말했던 것을 기억합니다. 그리고 그것은 충격적이었습니다. 저는 그 순간 제 친구가 어떻게 느꼈는지에 대해 전혀 생각하지 않았고, 제 친구가 그것에 대해 무언가를 느꼈다는 생각도 하지 않았습니다. 그리고 저는 직감적으로 꽤 빨리 아, 아마 그는 그것을 좋아하지 않을 것 같아. 저는 그것을 좋아하지 않을 것 같아. 그리고 저는 그 순간에 확신했습니다. 말하자면, 아이가 다른 사람의 입장에서 생각하도록 돕는 것은 정말 풍부한 기회가 있습니다. 그것은 다른 사람을 먼저 생각하는 것의 일부입니다. 그것은 다른 사람을 먼저 생각하는 것의 첫 번째 부분입니다. 마지막으로 말씀드리겠습니다. 예수께서 당신의 자녀에 대해 어떻게 생각하시는지 정기적으로 물어보고 돌아오십시오. 대화에 그것을 더 많이 가져올수록, 예수님은, 궁극적으로 다른 사람은 당신에 대해 어떻게 생각하십니까? 그의 마음과 마음속에서 무슨 일이 일어나고 있습니까? 은혜, 사랑의 마음, 연민, 기쁨, 죄에 대한 슬픔의 마음을 보는 것만큼 좋은 것은 없습니다. 그분은 당신을 사랑하시고 당신이 죄에 있는 것을 보고 싶어하지 않으시기 때문입니다. 그것들이 당신의 자녀를 향한 그의 마음 속에 있습니다. 그것들은 제가 아이가 다른 시각으로 보기를 가장 바라는 것들입니다. 그리고 당신이 더 많이 생각할수록, 예수님은 어떻게 느끼실까요? 당신은 더 많이 준비될 것입니다 당신 주변의 다른 사람들이 어떻게 느끼는지 생각하고, 그들을 향해 그리스도와 같은 관점을 갖게 될 것입니다.

How can I encourage my child to care more about others?

I am going to give four thoughts on this. It's one I've thought a fair amount about, as a father of three children. It's something I've thought about as the son of parents, but especially of a mother who helped me do this in really significant ways, and I think my mom's input in my life is part of why I'm a counselor today. How do you help kids care more about others? First thought, and probably the most important in terms of the action step regularly, is lead by example. Share what's going on in your mind, in your life, in your heart. How are you being impacted by what's going on around you? So just giving your child a regular window into "Hey, people have feelings and they have responses and they have reactions." So just like, "Such and such happened and that made me sad," or "I was really happy that..." So just giving children access to your inner world in whatever language. You don't have to get all weird and adopt some new hyper-emotional language if that's not who you are. And you're welcome to keep using lots of emotional language if that is who you are. I just mean talk to your kids about how you're experiencing your life and your world, and in particular, if there are places where you see them not thinking about others or not thinking about you, giving them access to that, not a manipulative way where you're like, well, how do you think I felt? Blah, blah, blah. There's a way to invite children to realize, you know what? Other people are going to have different feelings than they do. Other people have different desires, different perspectives, different concerns. So lead by example, sharing your own heart, sharing your own experience of life.

Number two, you lead by example in reflecting on others. Philippians 2, a fairly well-known passage, talks about how Jesus does this incredible, unbelievable humility with us, and he doesn't consider all the glories of heaven and being God with all the privilege of that. He comes down, he takes the nature of a servant. He's made in human likeness. He dies on a cross, and that's to his glory. But the phrases right before that are essentially, look to others ahead of yourself, consider others more important, look at other people. And so the more that you can lead by example in that, the more that you can be thinking about other people and talking about, "You know, I think so-and-so might be feeling such and such. I think they might be hoping for... this might be hard for them... I think this would probably really be meaningful to them..." Those kinds of comments—and if you find yourself struggling like, well, I never think about anybody that way, then that takes us to the most helpful thing you can do, which is begin yourself to pursue a perspective of knowing how is it for someone else? How are they? What are they thinking, feeling, looking for, hoping, doing, what is on their heart?

So lead by example, lead by example in reflecting on others, and then ask your kids how others might be feeling. So if the first aspects are sort of you driven, where you are the one putting the information on the table and putting data out there in the conversation, there's also a place to invite your child to reflect. "How do you think so-and-so felt?" I remember that was the breakthrough moment for me. I was six years old. I was playing wiffleball in the backyard with my friend. We came in and I was just, I was kind of a jerk about it: "Well, I'm feeling pretty happy because my team won" and blah, blah, blah, right there in front of my friend. And I remember my mom just in that moment saying, "How do you think your friend felt when you said that?" And it was jarring. I wasn't thinking at all about how my friend was feeling at that moment, and the idea that my friend was feeling something about it, and I was pretty quick at the intuition level to go, oh, I don't think he would probably like that. I don't think I would like that. And I was convicted in the moment. All that to say, there is such a rich opportunity just to help a child begin to put themself in someone else's shoes. That's part of putting someone else first. It's the first part of putting someone else first.

Last thing I'll say. Ask and come back to on a regular basis how Jesus feels about your child. The more that you can bring that into conversation, How does Jesus, how does the ultimate other feel about you? What's going on in his mind and his heart? There's nothing like seeing the grace, the heart of love, of compassion, of joy, of grief over sin because he loves you and does not want to see you in sin. That those things are there in his heart toward your child. Those are the things I would most want a child to be seeing through a different set of eyes. And the more you think, How would Jesus feel? the more you're going to be set up to think about how other human beings feel around you, and to have a Christlike perspective on and toward them.

 

 

*학습방법* 1.읽기: [읽고쓰기] 내용을 의미어구에 따라 끊어서 쓰고 어구번호 붙이기 2.듣기: [듣고말하기] 내용을 듣고 의미어구 단위로 끊어서 따라 말하기

3.쓰기:[바꿔쓰기] 내용을 보면서 옆에 /표시하고 의미를 바꿔서 쓰기 4.말하기: [바꿔말하기] 내용을 듣고 의미어구 단위로 바꿔서 말하기 {어구번호: 주어구1, 술보어구2, 목적어구3, 부사구4, 분사구5, 관계사구6}